Idaho

Everyone needs to know about this video.

Dude, where's my tunes?

It's official: the American masses wouldn't know good music if it slapped them in the face and challenged them to a duel. Maybe you knew this already. Maybe you think I'm crazy. Go to the iTunes music store and take a look at the new playlist of the most downloaded songs of all time. Spoiler alert: Miley Cyrus didn't make it on there, but don't worry, Kei$a is on there at least once. While iTunes fails to meet the standards of a well planned scientific experiment, you can't ignore the fact that one of the most downloaded songs of iTunes' history is by some booty shakin pop star who "brushes her teef wif a bottle of Jack..."

Here's a video that made me laugh and remember better times for pop music. If the three amigos moved to Germany, and stole the musical identity of Sugar Ray (which is not funny because identity theft is real; once a villain ordered Gevalia coffee with my roommate's debit card and it got sent to our address and we had to drink it), and magically became a little younger, this is what they would look and sound like.

The Man From Silverado

His name was Silverado Bloom, I think,

and his laugh did all that and more.

He came and went in a Mormon minivan

that was more country than the boots on his feet,

or the drawl on his lips, or the gun on his hip.

We used to sit and smoke through Hebrew signs,

and rings would float like magic through is nose.

I can still smell his leather jacket,

and my eyes still taste the pineapples

on tropical shirts that bloomed through the middle of winter.

Myan Chronicles Episode #1: The Mya Witch Project

For Bekah, who still thinks that Mya has a soul...

2012: We're not kidding this time...

The end is so near,

I can hear the waterfall.

Where are my floaties?

Mating Mantis Madness

Sexy business dance.

Nature happens next to me,

it must be peopled.

Goodbye Strauss

Goodbye for now, Strauss. We will miss you dearly. You were the best. You kept us all so happy for so long, and had a good run.

The Big, Hairy Beast

You were a friend to those inside our home,

and the fear of all outside.

You were the reason the UPS,

and the mailman hated us.

You devoured raw chicken and

gave it back to the green grass.

You barked at bicycles

and howled at music and song.

You listened politely to our every word,

though I doubt you understood much.

You roared like justice,

and slobbered like peace.

Bent and broken by age at last,

you came one last time when I called.

I remembered the holes you once dug

in the bushes by the fence,

as I scratched behind your ears

and whispered my farewell.

Only one hole remains to remind me,

but I have no dirt to fill it in.